BLITZ, EXCERPT & #GIVEAWAY - A Christmas to Die For by Jessica Frances
A Christmas to Die For
by Jessica Frances
Publication date: December 4th 2020
#LGBTQ+, #ScienceFiction, #Romance,
Drink way too much tequila at the office Christmas party? Check.
Get fired after doing something stupid at said Christmas party? Check.
Hallucinate flying reindeers in the sky? Check.
Watch those flying reindeer turn into naked people …? Check?
Discover magical elves are trying to kill you? Um … Wait! I don’t want to check that one!
Either I’m having the most epic blackout or my hangover has thrown me into the craziest world that has ever existed. I just found out that Santa is not only real, but he and his people can shapeshift into reindeer. I also just discovered that elves are real, which would be cool, except they’re evil and want to kill me! If that wasn’t bad enough, the elves and reindeer are at war with each other. So, not exactly like the cheery, heartwarming stories we’ve been told.
If a war between elves and reindeer isn’t shocking enough, it hardly holds a candle to finding out that I’m supposed to be the one person who can save an entire planet. Yeah, talk about being totally unqualified for the job. At least that overshadows the fact that I might now have a Santa kink when the young, hot, white-haired warrior is sent to protect me. But can I really help save Santa and his people? Can I stop the elves? Or is everyone doomed to suffer the deadliest Christmas ever?
To find out if this will be a Christmas to die for, buckle up in your sleigh, pour yourself an eggnog, and sing a Christmas tune, because this tale is about to get jolly and insane.
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“So, you like the milk, but what about the cookie?” He slides a plate that has sat off to the side of us the entire meal. On it is a large, round object with dark spots. My human called it a chocolate chip cookie when he asked for it. It’s large enough to take up the entire plate.
“You expect me to eat that?” I can’t even muster up any sort of enthusiasm for it. It looks like hard dirt with specks of dark mud in it.
“Yep, but only after you get a refill. The best way to eat a cookie is to dunk it in milk.”
I eye the cookie again, wondering why I’m even considering putting myself through all of this for my human.
“Are you sure this is important? We could be back in the hotel room …” I remind him, hoping the nudge will push him in the right direction, which would be any direction away from this cookie at this point.
Unfortunately, a waitress refills my glass, and then my human rips off a small chunk from the cookie.
I’m the Santa of Christmas, the highest rank in our military, the wartime leader of my people, and one of the most feared foes of the elves, yet here I am, succumbing to my human, who is force-feeding me rubbish.
What have I become?
Scrounging together whatever bravery and fearlessness I hold during battles, I take the offered poison and dunk it in the milk. Then I close my eyes as I shove the entire thing in my mouth.
I consider just swallowing it whole, figuring my body can save me from the taste, but already my body heat helps to melt whatever ingredients are in this cookie so it crumbles into my mouth.
And … I have to say, it’s not that bad.
Jessica lives in Adelaide, South Australia. When she is not writing, you can find her reading, napping or watching excessive amounts of TV. Connect with her on Facebook and Goodreads. Author links: http://jessicafrancesauthor.blogspot.com/ https://www.facebook.com/JessicaFrancesAuthor/ https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7236316.Jessica_Frances https://www.instagram.com/jessica_frances_author/